The dangers of being part of a subcontinent team

Kamran had better get his act together and improve as a
keeper, as that is his primary job.

 

 

I feel sorry for Kamran Akmal.
He's a good batsman, a hard hitter of the ball and I'm sure he can field in any position other than wicketkeeper.
For a long time, I thought that he would have taken money to keep wickets badly.
After today's game, I don't think that anymore.
He's just a rubbish keeper.
He's as resourceful behind the stumps like Tariq Iqbal was for Kenya during the 1996 World Cup. However, in Tariq's defense, he was large and fat and resembled someone you would find on late night Sun TV.
Kamran looks fit, unless he's done liposuction at some point in his life.
Pakistan haven't had a good wicketkeeper since Moin Khan. He was also an effective lower order.
The same theory goes with Rashid Latif, who made a lot of enemies by accusing everyone in the Pakistani team of fixing matches.
So you have the third best i.e. Kamran. His name on the Twitter handle is Kamran Fuckmal, thanks to several pissed off Pakistani fans. You can't blame them either. We were calling Piyush Chwla a guy who bowls like Juhi Chawla the other day.
The subcontinent is passionate about its cricket and if Kamran doesn't get his wicketkeeping act together, he may soon be replaced.

Ireland deserves to play in 2015

There have been two controversies that have come up during this World Cup: one speaks of the UDRS, which I'll probably write about some other time if I understand the rule book.
The other is the huge debate over the ICC choosing 10 teams to play the 2015 World Cup in Australia and New Zealand. It's raised a number of questions, with players like Ricky Ponting suggesting that the minnows shouldn't be playing with the 'big boys.'

When you think of Ireland and cricket, you say, "Yes,
they can!"

Normally World Cups have seen upsets, thanks to non-test playing nations. West Indies lost to Kenya in 1996. Kenya beat Sri Lanka in 2003. Canada beat Bangladesh in the same year. Ireland beat Pakistan and England in 2003 and 2007 respectively. Netherlands nearly beat England this year and if it wasn't for Afridi the other night, Canada might have just beaten Pakistan.
The last two games may have been won by England and Pakistan, but it shows us that a bunch of talented guys if given some direction, can rattle a strong opposition. Both Canada and The Netherlands stuck to their basics and played good cricket. Unfortunately for them, they weren't used to 50,000 people cheering on. Somewhere at some point of the game, the pressure undoubtedly got to most of them.
Ireland has managed to deal with the pressure. The reason for this is pretty simple, actually. Most Irish players are used to playing in front of crowds during the county season. It's not as big as a Bangalore crowd, but the players are used to playing with noise around them.
Another thing you've got to remember about the Irish is that they are the forefathers of the Australians. In an interview, former Formula One driver Eddie Irvine, an Irishman was asked why he had such a huge fan following in Australia. He replied, "Because Australia is full of Irish convicts."
The Australians probably got their fighting spirit from the Irish. They probably drink beer because of the Irish and since they're the best in the world in cricket, the Irish want to be as good as them because they are their forefathers.
The Irish are very realistic about their game. When asked in an interview a day after the England victory, Ireland batsman Niall O'Brien said that Ireland wasn't still ready to play test matches because cricketing infrastructure was poor in the country.
When you think of statements like these and look at the way the Irishmen have played their cricket, you wonder what a game between Ireland and Australia might look like. I'm sure that Australia will win, but the Irish game may make Ricky Ponting want to take back his words on the minnows. 

Good, not great

Amongst the two teams today, I thought the Irish were a better side.
They acted professional, bowled with discipline and fielded like a top quality international team, proving to the world that their match against England wasn't a fluke.
India on the other hand started really well, lost their way and thanks to Yuvraj Singh ensured that the Irish just crossed 200.
Given that the Bangalore wicket had over 1500 runs in the last two games, 200 looked achievable.
Then Sehwag got out to a really nothing shot and bowled and Gambhir played a shot that he usually plays really well, but mistimed it.
Suddenly we were 9/2.
We eventually achieved the target in the 44th over, thanks to Yuvraj, Sachin, Virat, Dhoni and some big hitting by Yusuf at the end, but that's not the point.
India has played three games in this World Cup so far. Barring the Irish, we haven't bowled anybody else out. The Irish were bowled out in the 45th over of the match when they were 9/2.
Who is to blame for this?
I'll admit that I was part of the Twitter universe that went after Chawla's blood during the Ireland innings. He was short, indisciplined and just gave away far too many singles.

The problem with the Indian
team is that some of the players
don't know their role in the side

But I won't blame him alone.
Harbhajan Singh, who is an attacking bowler by nature, was doing the job of a container. Sure his bowling figures look neat at 9-1-29-0, but isn't his job as the number one spinner in the Indian team to attack the batsmen? Why is Yuvraj, whose job in the side is that of a batsman and a part-time slow bowler getting five wickets? I have nothing against that bowling performance. He bowled beautifully and would dream of packing that wicket and taking it with him wherever he goes.
People like Harbhajan Singh are confidence bowlers. Sunil Gavaskar in his book Idols mentioned that BS Chandrasekhar was a lot like that. Harbhajan's at his best when he's flighting the ball. When he tries giving it less air, he tends to be less effective. We all know that. This World Cup has been indication of that. And this is from the same bowler who bowled beautifully in South Africa when we went there.
The Indian bowling has depended solely on Zaheer and he's bowled his heart out for India. But if you do to Zaheer what we expected of Tendulkar for major part of the 1990s, then we're not going beyond the quarterfinals. Nehra and Ashwin have been doing nothing. I liked what little I saw of Ashwin during the practice game against Australia. I'm not an IPL fan, but I know that he was a major reason why Chennai won the title last year. And he's no muck with the bat either. He has solid technique and he's gutsy. Unfortunately for him, Chawla is playing over him and Chawla, despite what anyone may think, is bowling terribly.
The batting is strong, but we don't have a bowling attack to back it up. It's the same argument that I had in the post I wrote this morning on the Curious case of the Indian fast bowler. We don't have anyone who won't last beyond a year. Funnily this morning, I completely forgot about Ishant and funnily he was another big thing after he got the better of Ricky Ponting in his debut series in Australia. This lack of focus, indiscipline, media attention and the feeling that I'm bigger than the game, is what's been killing Indian cricket. If we're the number 1 test team in the world, why would we draw home and an away series against South Africa? Sure we could have won that series if wasn't for Kallis' heroics, but wasn't it our job to take his wicket? We couldn't at the end, which has always been the tragedy of Indian cricket throughout.
While we may have a good side, we will never become a side that would be called great for a long time, if we continue this trend. 

The curious case of the Indian fast bowler

I read a piece on Varun Aaron in the Indian Express.
It's always been the case of the Indian fast bowler. We haven't had a long-lasting one since Srinath retired.
Zaheer was fast when he began, but he relies more on experience and guile nowadays. Sreesanth is fast, but he's got an attitude problem and cannot control the direction of the ball when he bowls. This is despite the fact that he has the best seam position in the business.
Irfan was fast, but Gregg Chappell told him to cut out on pace. He's not playing for India anymore
Munaf was hailed as the next big thing, but fitness issues made him a reliable medium pacer who is an excellent first change bowler.
Nehra is quick on his day, but he needs to be 100 per cent fit when he bowls.
There were also names like RP Singh, VRV Singh and some names that came and went, which I cannot remember.
So we have fast bowlers. Varun Aaron is one of them, but will he last? Will he be the next Srinath? Will he not breakdown and go before his career begins? This is a question not just for him, but for the entire crop of Indian kids who want to bowl fast.
Two years ago, Youtube had this video of this kid called Atul Sharma. Atul was, and this is assumption here, a rich kid, who wanted to do whatever it took to bowl fast. So there was a video of him working out and having a Shaoaib Akhtar-like action. He was supposed to play for The Rajasthan Royals, but he's disappeared like several other kids.

Srinath has been India's only genuine
fast bowler in the last two decades

In the subcontinent, India is one country that hasn't produced a fast bowler who has lasted a while. Sri Lanka has Lasith Malinga, the new kid Thisara Perera and people like Dilhara Fernando as backup. Pakistan keeps on producing fast bowlers like India produces batsmen, while Bangladesh rely more on spin that the fast men. Unfortunately for India, Harbhajan Singh is the only guy who is amongst the best in the world. The others are treated as part time bowlers. Also, it's cooler being a fast bowler. India can no longer ask someone to bowl two overs of seam and then call the spinner. Kapil Dev broke that trend in the late 70s, but he was an one-man army. Kapil created the trend for several people dreaming of bowling fast and Srinath was one guy who managed to be consistently fast throughout his career.
Srinath, started off as a vegetarian, but began eating meat to give himself more physical strength. Today fitness is a key in any sport, but the Indians keep breaking down. Zaheer has had several injuries, Nehra and Munaf are either in or out because of some strain, Irfan and RP are looking to make a comeback, while Sreesanth needs to focus on self-discipline.
Diet and fitness have been an integral part of a fast bowler. India keeps breaking stories about the next big thing, but they tragically die before they are born. Plus going by the wickets this World Cup has produced, would it be fair on the fast bowlers if they're going to be hit all across the ground? There is only so much they can do and if the administration doesn't get its act together in providing sportier wickets, people like Varun Aaron will fade away just as quickly as they came into the news. 

How English are the English

I wrote this piece a while back, but elaborated it for my first cricket byline.

Why does IPL have such a large following?

For all the years that I've cursed the IPL, I must admit that it makes for a great soap opera.

Sreesanth after getting slapped in
Season1

Season 1: Harbhajan Singh gets banned in his first IPL for slapping Sreesanth. Sreesanth cries at the end of the Mumbai Indians and Kings XI Punjab game.
The Rajasthan Royals is the shittiest team on paper. Yet, the guys go on to take the title. Shane Warne's hailed a genius and people realize that Munaf Patel can actually bowl and field.

Season 2: Lalit Modi decides that the IPL is bigger than the general elections. Wants more security for the IPL and demands that the Home Ministry provides it. The Home Ministry asks Lalit to fuck off and so the INDIAN Premier League moves to South Africa.
The Deccan Chargers, who are the worst team in the first edition of the IPL, ends up winning in South Africa.

Season 3: It's the craziest one of the lot.

Let's fuck Lalit was the Motto
of Season 3

Pakistani players are not auctioned because of 26/11. Shah Rukh Khan says that they should have given them a chance. The Shiv Sena burns posters and effigies of him and he has to apologize.
Neeta Ambani decides that she wants to look like a good humanitarian, so she holds this street kid in her arms during every presentation ceremony of the Mumbai Indians. She even chooses to dance with them when the Mumbai Indians win a game.
N Srinivasan decides that Lalit Modi is bad for the game and wants to fuck him over. The world is watching as there are 22 charges placed against him, including one for fixing IPL games.

Teaser trailers for Season 4: The BCCI decides to eliminate Rajasthan Royals and the Kings XI Punjab for violating laws. There is an agreement and they are allowed to play season 4.
Kochi wants to form an IPL side. Shashi Tharoor tweets about it. The Indian media tears him apart. The opposition wants his head. He resigns and marries Sunanda Pushkar, a Dubai-based beautician, who nearly purchased the team, but backed off at the end.
The Sahara Pune Warriors are formed.
Oh yes, the most important: The IPL decides to reshuffle everyone so that there are new auctions and new teams.

Will slap-gate become murder-
gate in Season 4?

Auction day and interesting facts
1) Ganguly realizes that nobody, not even the Kolkata Knight Riders want him to play T20 anymore. At least, he knows that he will have plenty of time campaigning for the CPI (M) for the West Bengal elections that are scheduled for May, the same time the IPL will take place.
2) Brian Lara decides he wants to come back, but nobody wants him either.
3) This one is my personal favourite: Harbhajan Singh and Andrew Symonds are in the same team. You got to love the Mumbai Indians for this. Instead of slap-gate like you did in Season 1, you may actually see murder-gate.

I've maintained it time and time again that I hate the IPL and T20 cricket for that matter. But going by the way reality television and Bollywood operate these days, it's no surprise that its TRPs top the chart. So here's to Season 4, the cheerleaders, the after-parties, the breakdowns, the scandals and if there's any of it, the cricket.

How English is the English team?

I'm happy for England. I really am. How many teams can boast of going to Australia and beating them on their home turf this decade?
Only South Africa managed to do that two years ago.
But then, when you look at it, out of the current playing XI in England, four are South Africans.
My brother came up with this theory and I think that it's a very valid point. Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior and Jonathan Trott, four key players in the English side are South Africans. They're not the type like Monty, who lived in England for all his life, and then got an England cap. These guys are players, who were rejected by South Africa for not being 'good enough', went to England, got citizenship and are now playing for their adopted nation.
If we go by that theory, we should take an entire lot of fast bowlers from Pakistan - given the chaotic scene in their cricketing world, give them passports and Indian citizenship and let them spearhead India's fast bowling attack. Hell it'll do wonders to us.

South African Andrew Strauss, who captains England
smiles as he looks at the reclaimed Ashes

I'm not taking anything away from England. The side has played cricket that makes me love the game even more. They have been aggressive, always at the opposition and just gone and if I were to use a word: fucked Australia in every department of the game.
My only question is how English a victory is it? Four South African players, a Zimbabwean coach, a South African great as your former bowling coach doesn't make it too English, does it? Hopefully, by the next Ashes, if someone reads this post and flames me, they would have a full-strength English side that is ready to actually beat Australia