Sunday, January 9, 2011

Why does IPL have such a large following?

For all the years that I've cursed the IPL, I must admit that it makes for a great soap opera.

Sreesanth after getting slapped in
Season 1: Harbhajan Singh gets banned in his first IPL for slapping Sreesanth. Sreesanth cries at the end of the Mumbai Indians and Kings XI Punjab game.
The Rajasthan Royals is the shittiest team on paper. Yet, the guys go on to take the title. Shane Warne's hailed a genius and people realize that Munaf Patel can actually bowl and field.

Season 2: Lalit Modi decides that the IPL is bigger than the general elections. Wants more security for the IPL and demands that the Home Ministry provides it. The Home Ministry asks Lalit to fuck off and so the INDIAN Premier League moves to South Africa.
The Deccan Chargers, who are the worst team in the first edition of the IPL, ends up winning in South Africa.

Season 3: It's the craziest one of the lot.
Let's fuck Lalit was the Motto
of Season 3
Pakistani players are not auctioned because of 26/11. Shah Rukh Khan says that they should have given them a chance. The Shiv Sena burns posters and effigies of him and he has to apologize.
Neeta Ambani decides that she wants to look like a good humanitarian, so she holds this street kid in her arms during every presentation ceremony of the Mumbai Indians. She even chooses to dance with them when the Mumbai Indians win a game.
N Srinivasan decides that Lalit Modi is bad for the game and wants to fuck him over. The world is watching as there are 22 charges placed against him, including one for fixing IPL games.

Teaser trailers for Season 4: The BCCI decides to eliminate Rajasthan Royals and the Kings XI Punjab for violating laws. There is an agreement and they are allowed to play season 4.
Kochi wants to form an IPL side. Shashi Tharoor tweets about it. The Indian media tears him apart. The opposition wants his head. He resigns and marries Sunanda Pushkar, a Dubai-based beautician, who nearly purchased the team, but backed off at the end.
The Sahara Pune Warriors are formed.
Oh yes, the most important: The IPL decides to reshuffle everyone so that there are new auctions and new teams.

Will slap-gate become murder-
gate in Season 4?
Auction day and interesting facts
1) Ganguly realizes that nobody, not even the Kolkata Knight Riders want him to play T20 anymore. At least, he knows that he will have plenty of time campaigning for the CPI (M) for the West Bengal elections that are scheduled for May, the same time the IPL will take place.
2) Brian Lara decides he wants to come back, but nobody wants him either.
3) This one is my personal favourite: Harbhajan Singh and Andrew Symonds are in the same team. You got to love the Mumbai Indians for this. Instead of slap-gate like you did in Season 1, you may actually see murder-gate.

I've maintained it time and time again that I hate the IPL and T20 cricket for that matter. But going by the way reality television and Bollywood operate these days, it's no surprise that its TRPs top the chart. So here's to Season 4, the cheerleaders, the after-parties, the breakdowns, the scandals and if there's any of it, the cricket.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

How English is the English team?

I'm happy for England. I really am. How many teams can boast of going to Australia and beating them on their home turf this decade?
Only South Africa managed to do that two years ago.
But then, when you look at it, out of the current playing XI in England, four are South Africans.
My brother came up with this theory and I think that it's a very valid point. Andrew Strauss, Kevin Pietersen, Matt Prior and Jonathan Trott, four key players in the English side are South Africans. They're not the type like Monty, who lived in England for all his life, and then got an England cap. These guys are players, who were rejected by South Africa for not being 'good enough', went to England, got citizenship and are now playing for their adopted nation.
If we go by that theory, we should take an entire lot of fast bowlers from Pakistan - given the chaotic scene in their cricketing world, give them passports and Indian citizenship and let them spearhead India's fast bowling attack. Hell it'll do wonders to us.
South African Andrew Strauss, who captains England
smiles as he looks at the reclaimed Ashes
I'm not taking anything away from England. The side has played cricket that makes me love the game even more. They have been aggressive, always at the opposition and just gone and if I were to use a word: fucked Australia in every department of the game.
My only question is how English a victory is it? Four South African players, a Zimbabwean coach, a South African great as your former bowling coach doesn't make it too English, does it? Hopefully, by the next Ashes, if someone reads this post and flames me, they would have a full-strength English side that is ready to actually beat Australia