After Yuvraj, it's Sreesanth's turn

So Sreesanth has been stripped of the Kerala captaincy.
We don't know why, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense.
People from Kerala are a firebrand lot, but they seem docile in front of Sreesanth.
He could be the Chuck Norris of cricket, if he wasn't such a moron. Who goes on record to say,

Everybody knows I can dance well and I can bowl fast too. There are only a few bowlers who can do that

Sreesanth is as talented a bowler as Yuvraj Singh is a batsman. Yuvraj is the best timer of the cricket ball today, while nobody lands the ball so consistently on the seam like Sreesanth does. But what's the point? Both of them act like they are bigger than the game, which is a tragedy.
India has dropped Yuvraj and Kerala has stripped Sreesanth of captaincy. Hopefully, they will put their egos aside and think of how they can better their game in future

The brat gets axed

Once a cunt, always a cunt.
That's the tale of Yuvraj Singh.
I saw him in the under-19 world cup for the first time.
He was gifted and strong, but very cocky even then.
His captain Mohammad Kaif, on the other hand, looked calm and composed.
Let's not forget the 84 he made in his first ODI. When Ravi Shastri asked him what he had for breakfast, he snorted and said, meh, vegetarian.
Cunt.
Since then, Yuvraj has been a permanent member of the Indian side, while Kaif is trying to make a comeback by being part of the India A team.
Hopefully, things are going to change now.
Yuvraj Singh has been dropped. The selectors say for disciplinary reasons, as this picture demonstrates.
But it is also for the fact that Yuvraj is currently an unfit, fat cunt, who has taken his position in the side for granted.
Hell, even Sachin has never done that and he's played for over 20 years now.
Hopefully, the selectors do this to other fat, indisciplined shits in the Indian side.
That way, people in the reserves who are really talented can find a way back in.
And yeah, when I think about it, I don't blame those guys for going to the ICL.

Team India: Post match analysis

India's loss yesterday was inevitable.
You can't blame them. They won two matches in the tournament.
One was a close call against South Africa, thanks to Suresh Raina's century.
One was a team effort. Full of skill from all the players, in the game against Afghanistan.
Two wins out of five games. That is still 40 per cent victory in the T20 world cup.
If they were writing an examination, they would have still passed.
But let's do an analysis of the players.
Raina deserves praise. Barring the game against the Australians, he has carried his IPL form to the national circuit and has performed regularly.
Rohit Sharma had one magnificent innings. If he plays more like he did when he made that 79 against a good pace attack, then India have something to cheer about for its middle order in the future.
Yuvraj is a cunt. Always has been and will never change.
Dhoni just won the IPL. He needs to lose something now. This was the best thing he could lose. And yeah, he had two bowlers bowling like a pair of twats and a batsman who is a twat.
But these are all excuses.
A more astute analysis was given to me by my brother in an email he sent today: India can't play fast bowling. it apparently can't play any bowling or even bowl for that matter. Perhaps we should stick to our unofficial national sport: pocket billiards.

What a bunch of wankers.

South Africa: the eternal chokers

Uncle J-Rod got it right again.South Africa proved that they can't perform in a big tournament. Today's loss to Pakistan has resulted in them getting out of the T20 cup.
Pakistan has a chance of surviving.
Does that mean, India has a chance as well?
Will the Indian side manage to stun Sri Lanka tomorrow?
Aakash Chopra tweeted that Sri Lanka's reliability on Mahi and Sanga could cost them the match.
At least, Sri Lanka have two people to count on.
Who on earth does India have, right now?
Dhoni's ODing as a captain. He makes Harbhajan open the bowling on a fast bowler's wicket and bowls first on a track where batting first is the smart thing to do.
Yuvraj is batting like a cunt.
Zaheer and Nehra seem out of sorts.
Vijay thinks he's playing a test match.
Dhoni is batting, but getting out at the wrong time.
So, Raina and Sharma, who have been amongst the runs, have a lot to do.
If this doesn't work, India can always join the South Africans and go on a vacation before embarking on their Zimbabwe tour

Is the IPL to blame?

India lost because they were crap.
In the first year of the T20 cup, India and Pakistan were unstoppable because they were the only two teams that understood the T20 format.
Yuvraj smashed Broad for 36 in an over; Sreesanth was actually bowling maiden overs and RP was the next big thing.
Similarly for Pakistan, Umar Gul was their bowling sensation and carried forward that form to the following World Cup, which Pakistan won. Also, Misbah-Ul-Haq invented the scoop shot that gave him a lot of runs and India the first World Cup.
Then came the IPL. In IPL I and II, since Pakistani players were selected, they got better international exposure and capitalized on it to take the next World Cup.
Meanwhile, England, New Zealand, Sri Lanka and the West Indies were slowly getting the hang of playing the shortest form of the game.
Australia, however, were getting raped, which is why they have come back with a vengeance this year.
This year, IPL 3 saw no Pakistani players. There were more Caucasians than there were in the previous two tournaments. Hell, even Jacques Kallis was selected to represent South Africa for the T20 this year because of his IPL form.
India had just finished off two seasons - one with South Africa and earlier to Bangladesh - before IPL began.
The players felt that money was more important that resting their bodies.
The effect was disaster.
On the other hand, Pakistan hasn't played too much cricket are probably taking the same plane as India is.
So, is the IPL to blame totally? I'd ask Lalit, but he's got his own issues to deal with at the moment

India vs West Indies: A preview

So India play the West Indies tonight.
Personally, I hate watching matches in the Caribbean because I have to stay awake all night.
I've watched the all-nighters, when India or Australia have toured. When other teams tour, I usually watch until I can't keep my eyes open.
But yeah, back to the topic: it is a do-or-die situation for both teams.
West Indies will rely on an all-pace attack, after watching what Australia did to India the other night.
They'll probably take Kemar Roach, although his record in T20 is shit. The West Indies as a unit, personally is shit today. It's unfortunate, but it's the truth. Yet, despite being shit, they show signs of brilliance like the did when they beat England the other day (with a bit of help from Duckworth and Lewis). But yeah, their brilliance is inconsistent and hopefully tonight, for the sake of the Indian fan and the BCCI, whose IPL franchise paid some of their players millions of dollars to play for the IPL teams, they will play like crap.
India have some problems. Barring the brilliance of Rohit Sharma, who batted like he was on LSD the other night, the others are struggling. Yuvraj Singh shouldn't be in the side; the bowlers, except for Harbhajan are out of sorts and the fielding is as good as a child representing his apartment for a cricket match.
So tonight's contest winner will technically be the one who plays less shit. There won't be any brilliance; there won't be any one-man army (unless of course Pollard decides to sodomize us with his cricket bat); there will just be two teams making fools of themselves on the field.